A few years ago, I took up rappelling, the art of descending sheer cliffs by rope and harness, so that we could explore the red-rock canyons of Southern Utah. After I had begun to learn the basics, Steve, our guide, said to me, “You’re one of those people who wants to speed up when your adrenaline starts to flow.”
Some things in life have to be earned, and some things cannot be. We can earn respect and reputation by our behavior, but sometimes we need help, or forgiveness, or just a break, that we haven’t earned and don’t deserve. And we can also give to others gifts they don’t deserve and don’t have to earn. That sort of undeserved kindness is captured by the word Hesed, often translated as lovingkindness.
The other day I had coffee with Hal, the father of one of our chavurah members. He had just written his second novel, this one based on his amazing experiences as a Jewish-American soldier fighting the Nazis in World War II. We got together to talk about his book.
One of the current terms of religious discussion that I’ve grown to suspect is “spirituality.” I’m tired of hearing people say, “I’m not religious; I’m spiritual,” which often means I don’t have any outward signs of religious or transcendent life, but, trust me, I possess many lofty sentiments.
Chesed or loving-kindness is an essential human attribute, but it’s first of all a divine attribute. If we want to cultivate chesed, we should pay attention to how Hashem exercises it. And God’s chesed is on display at the conclusion of the Haftarot of Comfort, the passages from Isaiah that we read during this period between Tisha B’av and Rosh Hashanah.
We sometimes think of patience as a passive virtue, similar to endurance; the kind of patience that enables us to perform a repetitive task, to get through setbacks and challenges, or to wait for an answer to prayer without getting irritated or discouraged. Such patience is a virtue, as they say, but patience includes a more active response as well, not just enduring various trials, but maintaining focus and intensity through them all.
When Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them; but he acted like a stranger toward them . . . (Gen. 42:7).
Of all the themes that run through the story of Joseph and his brothers, one we might overlook is Joseph’s patience. I’m not thinking of the tremendous patience he needed to get through twenty years of slavery, imprisonment, and estrangement without losing hope in God, but of the patience that brought him through what might have been even tougher—the testing of his brothers when they came down to Egypt to buy food.
Most of us have heard it said, at one point or another, “all good things come to those who wait.” We have also probably heard, “you can’t always get what you want.” For the most part we think of patience in relationship to those things that are eventually coming to us. This week’s parasha (Pinchas) reveals a deeper level of patience.
I’ve heard Patience defined, not as the ability to wait, but as the ability to wait with a good attitude. Patience is a wonderful thing, but no one wants to have it for themselves. We want other people to be patient. The value in patience is that we get to see events unfold and we can gain deeper understandings. Patience is something that is learned. It doesn’t come naturally.
{enclose 2010-10-13_patience_life_without_a_script.mp3}
rebbetzin malkah explores the idea of our lives being unscripted, and how to cope with life’s expected unexpectedness through employing patience and tolerance
Use these questions to evaluate your day:
What were the "seeds" that started to erode your patience today?
Think of several good things that happened today. What was your reaction to them in contrast to your moments of challenge?
If you lost your patience today, is this something that you have lost your patience over previously?
If you were on the verge of losing your patience but didn't, what did you employ that worked?
Were you able to use prayer or meditation to suffer through the circumstances?
If you lost your patience today, describe how it happened.
What causes you to lose patience most often?
I was recently stuck in line at the car rental counter behind a guy who appeared to have never rented a car before in his life. I’d say he was a classic nudnik, but I don’t think I should call someone a name in an article about ethics. With shorts a bit too tight and hitched up a bit too high upon his potbelly, and close-cropped gray hair over a worried brow, he questioned every line in the rental agreement.
I think I’m a pretty patient guy, but I saw something this week that put my patience to shame.
Last week I had the privilege of experiencing the removal of all four wisdom teeth and one extra tooth that had grown behind one of my top front teeth. The entire experience has been a test of patience. 
We most often think of patience or savlanut as the capacity to deal with frustrating delays or obstacles that interfere with our plans or objectives.
