patience - life without a script

{enclose 2010-10-13_patience_life_without_a_script.mp3}

rebbetzin malkah explores the idea of our lives being unscripted, and how to cope with life’s expected unexpectedness through employing patience and tolerance

questions to ask yourself

art-questions

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the "seeds" that started to affect your order today?

2. Did you start your day with a plan? Did that plan come to fruition, did it fall apart, or were there glitches in it? How did you handle this?

3. If you or your possessions became disorderly today, what was the cause of this?

4. If something unfortunate happened today because of lack of order in your life, how did you overcome it or remedy the situation?

5. Were you able to use prayer or meditation to help create clarity so as to add more order to your day?

6. Did you employ any new order/routine into your day as something that will be permanent fixture?

7. How do you need to reorder your life tomorrow, this week or this year?

questions to ask yourself

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the "seeds" that possibly affected your decisiveness today? Social, financial - what were they?

2. Think of how your day progressed - were you able to make decisions with clarity? Why or why not?

3. If you wavered on making a decision today, either regarding something that was for the present or for the future, what was the reason for your vascillating? Were you finally able to make the decision, or are you still up in the air?

4. Were you able to use prayer or meditation to help with decision making?

questions to ask yourself

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the "seeds" that started to affect your cleanliness today?

2. Were you able to be pure in your deeds and thoughts today?

3. What events today caused you to stray and perhaps not act as ethically and wholesomely? How did you respond to them? Were they in speech? Movies? Television? The Internet? Emails?

4. Were you able to use prayer or meditation to help you through the circumstances?

questions to ask yourself

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the "seeds" that started to erode your humility today?
2. Think of how you responded to praise, or how you responded to someone else receiving praise.  Did you become puffed up when you were complimented?  Did you feel jealous or resent someone else receiving good words?
3. Did you take the time to truly listen to those around you today, or were you more focused on speaking? Were you able to say words to lift up those around you?
4. In the course of your day, did you make an effort to wholeheartedly look at your shortcomings today rather than focus on those of others?
5. Were you able to use prayer or meditation to balance out your humility?
6. When you are around others, do you often feel superior?
7. Are you realistic in your analysis of who you truly are?

questions to ask yourself

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the "seeds" that started to erode your ability to maintain a heathy separation from those things that you should have distance from today?

2. What was your reaction in your moments of challenge?

3. If you were unable to maintain a separation from the things or people that cause you to stumble, is this a recurring struggle? What will you do differently tomorrow to prevent it? What fence will you erect to help you?

4. If you were on the verge of losing the battle with separation but won instead, what did you employ that worked?

5. Were you able to use prayer or meditation to help you through the circumstances?

questions to ask yourself

art-questions

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the "seeds" that hindered your ability to manifest righteousness today?

2. Did a good deed you tried to perform today lift up someone while lowering someone else, or was this good deed mutually beneficial for all involved?

3. Were your deeds done merely for the sake of Heaven, or for some personal gain?

4. Did you consider the honor of your fellow in all your actions?

5. Were you able to use prayer or meditation to help you in making the more noble choices you were confronted with today?

questions to ask yourself

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the "seeds" that started to affect your ability to be frugal today?

2. Think of how you used the resources around you (money, natural, etc..). Did you squander them, or were you excessive in their use?

3. Is there an area where you struggle with frugality (clothing, technology, trinkets, food, alcohol, etc..)? Do you have a plan to curb your habits?

4. If you were on the verge of losing your frugality but instead won, what did you employ that worked?

5. Were you able to use prayer or meditation to help you through the circumstances?

questions to ask yourself

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the seeds that started to affect your enthusiasm today?
2. Think of matters in which you were successful today, versus ones in which you weren't. Were they a function of your level of enthusiasm?
3. Do you experience recurring snags in your walk forward or your daily activities? What is affecting your enthusiasm?
4. If you were on the verge of getting stuck in a rut or wasting time, what did you employ that helped you become enthusiastic again?
5. Did you use prayer or meditation to help you with your enthusiasm today?
6. Did you procrastinate in doing something today?
7. Do you avoid doing certain things because they are not your favorite tasks?

questions to ask yourself

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the "seeds" that started to affect your ability to hold your silence on a matter today?

2. Think of several good things that happened today. What was your reaction to them in contrast to your moments of challenge? Did you speak out righteously, or use your speech in a negative and non-productive fashion?

3. Is there a common situation where you find that you are consistently unable to keep silent?

4. Was there a moment where you should have spoken and didn't? Why?

5. If you were on the verge of speaking out in a negative way but didn't, what did you employ that worked?

6. Were you able to use prayer or meditation to help you through the circumstances?

questions to ask yourself

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the "seeds" that started to erode your calmness today?

2. If an event caused you to lose your calm spirit, what was it and how did you react? Is this something that has caused you agitation previously?

3. If you were on the verge of losing your calmness of spirit, what did you employ that helped you?

4. Were you able to use prayer or meditation to get through the circumstances and remain calm?

questions to ask yourself

Use these questions to evaluate your day:

1. What were the "seeds" that started to affect your ability to exemplify truth?
2. Think of several moments when you were challenged to express truth. What was your reaction?  Did you forsake truthfulness for social peace or to prevent embarrassment, or were you weak and not able to stand up for the truth?
3. If you were unable to express truth today, is this something that you have struggled with previously? 
4. Were you able to use prayer or meditation to give you strength to work through the circumstances?

from the mussar masters

“Silence is a protective fence for wisdom.”—Avot 3:17

“And you shall honor it [Shabbat] by abstaining from your affairs, by refraining from your wants, and by not engaging in [prohibited] speech.” —Isaiah 58:13

Rabbi Shammai said: “Say little and do much, and receive all men with a cheerful countenance.” —Avot 1:15

 “For the whole of the Torah is summed up in this one sentence : 'Love your neighbor as yourself'; but if you go on snapping at each other and tearing each other to pieces, watch out, or you will be destroyed by each other!" —Galatians 5:13-15

"By the blessing of the upright, a city is raised up; but the words of the wicked tear it down. He who belittles another lacks good sense, whereas a person of discernment stays silent." —Proverbs 11:11-12

"Anyone who thinks he is religiously observant but does not control his tongue is deceiving himself, and his observance counts for nothing." —James 1:26

"Don't speak impulsively—don't be in a hurry to give voice to your words before God. For God is in heaven, and you are on earth; so let your words be few." —Ecclesiastes 5 :1-2

“Evil talk (lashon hara) is so grievous a sin because it kills three people: the one who speaks evil, the one who listens to evil talk, and the one who is being slandered.” —Talmud, Erechin 15b

“When a person insults someone else, it is his own defects that he is revealing.” —Talmud, Kiddushin 70a

“In an abundance of words, offense will not be lacking, but one who restrains his lips is wise.” —Proverbs 10:19

from the mussar masters

For who in the skies can be compared to G-d?  Who is like G-d among the heavenly beings? -- Tehillim 89:7

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.  -- Mishlei 11:2

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.  -- Mishlei 16:18

Be lowly in spirit before everyone.  -- Avos 4:10

Wherever you find God's greatness, there you will find His humility -- b. Megilla 31a

The greatest among you shall be to you as a servant. Everyone who lifts himself up will be brought low, but everyone who lowers himself will be lifted up.  --  Matthew 23:11-12, DHE

A true genius admits that he/she knows nothing. -- Albert Einstein

True humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. -- Timothy Keller

Be careful not to mistake insecurity and inadequacy for humility! Humility has nothing to do with the insecure and inadequate! Just like arrogance has nothing to do with greatness! -- C. Joybell C.

Pride must die in you, or nothing of heaven can live in you. -- Andrew Murray

The humble person is open to being corrected, whereas the arrogant is clearly closed to it. Proud people are supremely confident in their own opinions and insights. Filled as they are with their own views, the arrogant lack the capacity to see another view. -- Thomas Dubay

It stands to reason that anyone who learns to live well will die well. The skills are the same: being present in the moment, and humble, and brave, and keeping a sense of humor. -- Victoria Moran

Humility is that freedom from our self which enables us to be in positions in which we have neither recognition nor importance, neither power nor visibility, and even experience deprivation..and knowing that we are not in the center of the universe, not even in the center of our own private universe. -- David F. Wells